The three games strut around on iOS without much of a problem, but sometimes the animations seem slow and the HD makeover takes away the blocky charm Phoenix Wright had on DS while adding a weird delay between when you press buttons and something happening. Frankly, I feel like a perfunctory job has been done with this port, as if Capcom's suits just realised their kid were something that they could make a buck out of if they trotted it out in one of those gross American pageants where the kids get eyelash implants. You think it's won, right? The games themselves are case closed. Yeah! You can't freaking handle the truth! That's the sound of me punching a hole through my mum's plasterboard wall. You can tell when it's won, you can tell, because the background music drops, Phoenix yells OBJECTION! and in the first title, this beauty plays: The kicker is when you finally object to a witness' testimony and present the evidence that wins the case. The music and art kick in you'd happily waste hours lost in the tiny 2D rooms of 2D people who have their mouths way too wide open. But those slight frustrations pay off eventually when you look in your inventory and finally recognise who, in fact, dun it. They're rare games about text and picture interpretation, which is sometimes a frustrating ride when you have missed a narrative signpost or misinterpreted the game's angle. The long strings of text might seem like a drag at first, but this is a game about animation reacting to text and text reacting to animation in a dynamic, turnabout, eccentric Japanese rush of sugar that's fluid and satisfying. It's your role, as the witty and dashing attorney, to expose those lies by presenting inventory evidence at the right time, which is accompanied by a satisfying yell of OBJECTION!, HOLD IT! or even TAKE THAT!, and the main character will slam the desk and point at the culprit. The strange witnesses you cross-examine in the terseness of the courtroom will always lie, or distort the truth. To come to his defence: the crunchy part of these Phoenix Wright titles come from the carefully constructed text envelope wrapped around a few essential contradictions, which you then meticulously, pleasurably unfold to some of the most satisfying 2D court drama performances since Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. Playing this sort of thing on a phone means you too can bring your OBJECTION! into the real world more often, just as I imagine Phoenix Wright does whenever someone cuts him off at a junction. I'd have brought my DS, but I forgot to charge it, forgot to pack Ace Attorney, and probably have lost the stylus, and sometimes the Pokémon stickers on my DS Lite make me get IDd in bars. These three games are wonderfully constructed: the best thing about porting old games to iOS is the fact you can then replay games you know are great when you're stuck in the world's longest Post Office queue, trying not to fall asleep on a drunk on a night bus, or in the pub on an extremely boring date. You can download the app for free, but with that you only get the first two chapters of the first game before you have to fork out for the rest (each adventure available separately, or all together for a discounted £11.99). These three charmingly translated, robust and incredibly funny visual novels have previously wormed their bizarre gardening accidents into our hearts on the Nintendo DS, but now they've been handily ported to iOS by Capcom. Phoenix is then usually called upon to defend the accused and Wright all Wrongs. His first three adventures, Ace Attorney, Justice For All, and Trials and Tribulations mainly involve his various acquaintances dying from outlandish murders, occasionally reminiscent of the ways in which many Spinal Tap drummers have snuffed it. Ladies and gentlemen of the court: Phoenix Wright is a goofy, spike-haired, blue-suited lawyerman who mostly has everyone drop dead around him.
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